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http://ncbuy.com/news/wireless_news.html?nav=this&qdate=2003-07-17
She appeared on Top Of The Pops. She was beautiful. But she had the HAIRIEST armpits I have ever seen. And the song required lots of arm waving. She was the talk of all English schools for months.
I remember the same phenomenon in the states when I was a little girl and Katarina Witt won the gold medal in figure skating. The only thing I can remember at all are her hairy pits bursting out of her lovely skating costume...
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http://ncbuy.com/news/wireless_news.html?nav=this&qdate=2003-07-17
Im an olympic shaver. Im the queen of bics. I banish evil hair to the fires of hell. Especially that lone cowboy that grows just below my bellybutton.
Right on! I too am a dedicated shaver--and waxer, for that matter. I would change to a new physician before I went to a new waxing tech...
And what is WITH that stay hair that suddenly grows a half inch overnight? I have one of those, and no matter how often I pluck it, it just springs back to life unexpectedly in all it's freakish glory.
I highly reccomend the 'intuition' shaver for daily leg, underarm and bikini line maintenance. The silky smooth conditioner keeps the itchies away.
an ex brother and i were talking recently and he recounted a bizarre story.
he too left the witneys some years ago, got a divorce, and the two children (both boys) decided to stay with his wife since she was still a jw.. one of his boys (never baptized a jw) confided in him not long ago about the sleeping arrangements after he left.
she told the boys that she was feeling depressed and lonely because of the divorce and turmoil that their apostate father had caused her and asked them (ages 15 and 16) to each alternate and sleep with her every other night.. it took lots of courage for this son to talk to his father about it since he wanted it off his chest.
Welcome, Lurking.
Try not to let those who have judged your story harshly get to you, there is always someone out there ready to willfully misunderstand or judge a situation in the name of devil's advocacy.
I am sorry that the mother you loved betrayed your trust the way she did. I hope that you have found, and will continue to find, some peace with distance and time.
teddy is jennie's almost-2-year-old hamster, which i know is old for a hamster.
last week when we cleaned his cage i noticed quite an odor about him and the cage, so i gave him a quick bath using a drop of dog shampoo and holding him in my hand to minimize trauma.
he seemed to take it well and fluffed up nicely, but i noticed while i was bathing him that his tummy was almost hairless and seemed a bit scabby.. last night he was walking around his cage kind of hunched over, like he's favoring his tummy.
Confession time: I have taken a hamster to the veterinarian.
When our son's hamster (who was about a year and a half old at the time) began to make a raspy, wheezing sound, our then 8 year old boy was very upset and asked when we should take the hamster to see the vet--after all, we take the cats and dog annually and whenever there is a problem. Knowing that hamsters have a relatively short life span, I remember asking my husband that night what a trip to the vet for a $6 hamster would cost us. He thought for a moment and responded that the bigger question might be "What will it cost us if we don't?"
So in the spirit of modeling responsible pet-ownership behavior to our kids, I got to be the "crazy redhead with the hamster cage in the waiting room". I felt a little silly for being there at all (and for not being able to help bursting into laughter when the vet carefully cradled 'Jinx' on her back while holding the stethoscope to her tiny little chest in an attempt to listen to her lungs...) and even sillier when, having paid the $96 vet bill and walking out with 6 days of hamster antibiotics, when I walked right by the display of healthy young hamsters for $6.99, but in the end our son learned a good lesson in taking your commitments seriously, and just as valuable a lesson when she died peacefully 7 months later.
My brother called that night and when I told him I took the hamster to the vet, he paused before saying "Do you mean the 'big veterinarian in the sky'?"
Do your own cost/benefit analysis, but it might be worth a quick call to the vet.
an ex brother and i were talking recently and he recounted a bizarre story.
he too left the witneys some years ago, got a divorce, and the two children (both boys) decided to stay with his wife since she was still a jw.. one of his boys (never baptized a jw) confided in him not long ago about the sleeping arrangements after he left.
she told the boys that she was feeling depressed and lonely because of the divorce and turmoil that their apostate father had caused her and asked them (ages 15 and 16) to each alternate and sleep with her every other night.. it took lots of courage for this son to talk to his father about it since he wanted it off his chest.
You said "That the boy felt uncomfortable, and that a personal boundary was crossed is without question." - No it IS in question. Just because someone FEELS uncomfortable doesn't mean anything inappropriate happened. I feel uncomfortable when I see a man and a woman make out. Does it make it wrong? No.
Invalid example. Watching to people making out is not something that you are involved in, it is merely something you witness. But the boy in this case did not 'witness' behavior he felt was inappropriate, he was the direct recipient of such behavior.
I can watch my parents snuggling in bed and know that, no matter whether it 'bothers' me or not, nothing inappropriate in the least is happening. But if my mother was suddenly absent, and my father requested that I take her place and snuggle with him at night, that crosses the line--it is not my job as a child to replace the emotional or physcial void that my mother's absence has created in my father's life.
No one is disputing that parental affection and contact is a wonderful, natural experience to have with your children. No one is disputing that spousal affection and phsyical contact is a fantastic, natural experience to share with the one you love. It when that line becomes blurred, when an aspect of emotional intimacy with one's spouse is shifted onto one's children, that we don't get to simply say "Well, no one's genitals were involved" and summarily dismiss the resulting discomfort.
an ex brother and i were talking recently and he recounted a bizarre story.
he too left the witneys some years ago, got a divorce, and the two children (both boys) decided to stay with his wife since she was still a jw.. one of his boys (never baptized a jw) confided in him not long ago about the sleeping arrangements after he left.
she told the boys that she was feeling depressed and lonely because of the divorce and turmoil that their apostate father had caused her and asked them (ages 15 and 16) to each alternate and sleep with her every other night.. it took lots of courage for this son to talk to his father about it since he wanted it off his chest.
When I stayed with my grandmother I would share the same bed....at least until 13 or 14ish...can't recall specifically. Past when I had started masterbation and sexual development...I found nothing arousing, nor illicit about this arrangement. Listening to grandma snore was the most unplesant thing that happened. LOL
You likely slept with your Grandmother because that's where the bed was, and there's nothing inappropriate about that in the least. I did too, as a child, until about the same age--and so did my brother. No sexual undertones whatsoever.
But I think the difference between what you describe above and the situation described by the original poster is that this boy did feel that something was 'wrong'. Your Grandmother did not request that you sleep with her because she was emotionally fragile and vulnerable and didn't want to sleep alone. In my head, the line was crossed when this mother, for whatever reason, decided that she needed her boys as a substitute for the husband who no longer shared her bed, and whether there was any sexual contact or not, it was a situation that was uncomfortable enough for the boy involved to remember and relate 20 years later. It's true that we have very little information, but from what we DO know, I think the mother's judgement was questionable at the least. Not much to be done, in any case.
On a broader (and related) note, I think there's been a very strange shift in the last 20 years or so in the way that parents (mothers in particular) view their relationship with their children. It's almost as if the parent-child relationship has become blurred with the spousal relationship--a strange shifting of emotional intimacy (not sexual) from one's spouse to one's children. I see it all the time with my friends who have effectively ignored their their partners/husbands in the name of "the child comes first". I adore our children and we are committed, loving parents. But my marriage is the primary relationship in our home, and turning to my children to fill the void in my life that would exist if my husband were suddenly not here isn't an option.
an ex brother and i were talking recently and he recounted a bizarre story.
he too left the witneys some years ago, got a divorce, and the two children (both boys) decided to stay with his wife since she was still a jw.. one of his boys (never baptized a jw) confided in him not long ago about the sleeping arrangements after he left.
she told the boys that she was feeling depressed and lonely because of the divorce and turmoil that their apostate father had caused her and asked them (ages 15 and 16) to each alternate and sleep with her every other night.. it took lots of courage for this son to talk to his father about it since he wanted it off his chest.
The act of sharing a bed with your child is not, in an of itself, a bad thing. There are numerous, perfectly valid reasons that children end up in bed with their parents. I am a big believer that appropriate, affectionate contact with children is a wonderful way to assure your children that they are loved and cherished. I am also, however, a big believer that there are some behaviors which are limited to your partner and yourself, and it is not the business or responsiblity of a child to take over for an absent parent or spouse when their mother or father needs comfort.
The mother in this situation, by the original poster's description, was citing loneliness and emotional vulnerability as the reasons she wanted her teenage sons to alternate sleeping with her. In effect, she asked them to substitute for the husband who no longer shared her bed, so that she would not have to sleep alone. This is not a mother who sought extra hugs and kisses from her children in appropriate daily settings, but a lonely woman who somehow forgot that her own need for adult, peer physical contact was not something her children should have had to provide for her. The actions of this parent, when examined for their intent, are creepy. Period.
I don't believe anyone should ignore that little voice in their head that says 'something just isn't right about this'. The son, all these years later, is still troubled by the contact with his mother in that situation, and that alone is enough for me to acknowledge that--whether intended or not--the mother's actions were at the very least questionable.
If a divorced dad cited vulnerability and loneliness at bedtime and insisted that his 14 and 16 year old daughters take turns sleeping with him while he spooned them, you can bet your bippy that the girls confession of feeling very uncomfortable about what took place would likely get a much more sympathetic response than "get over it".
the watchtower has been down .
sizing everything except meetings.
where would all the money come from if not at all those meetings, in those boxes, ahem!!
I doubt that the number of weekly meetings will ever be significantly reduced.
You can't control the minds and hearts of a population until you ensure that there isn't much time to devote to non-organization activities. Moving to fewer meetings per week would give people too much down time to actually find out what else is out there in 'the world' to pursue.
johnny depp?
ian mckellan?
morgan freeman?
Kevin Spacey, Emma Thompson, Morgan Freeman.
my gawd.
i noticed that the movie got decent reviews and i didn't really hear anything bad about it, so i gave it a chance on hbo tonight.. .
these stupid ass reviewers got duped.
Then I suppose you wouldn't be amused in the least if you could see that right now I'm wearing my "Vote for Pedro" t-shirt.
Or when my husband adopts a lispy gangsta-accent and says "peace out".
